oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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