We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
