I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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