What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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