Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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