i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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