Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
