we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
