i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
