yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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