I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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