just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
