and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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