After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
