Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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