I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
