wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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