I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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