Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
NoShamevember. You game?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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