whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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