Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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