Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
