she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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