dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
