just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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