Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
