i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize