uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
