SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize