recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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