Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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