Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
