I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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