We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
