I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
