I am puke
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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