everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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