I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
there is glitter all over my balls
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