I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
