Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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