I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize