i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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