Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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