i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
