If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
