What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
we're so committed to being not committed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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