I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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