Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize