I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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