So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
