I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
