i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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