Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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