PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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