my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
third nipple confirmed
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
