i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
